Happy birthday to me!

It's my birthday yesterday! I was so happy because of my relatives are there to celebrate my birthday.
I don't care any presents at least they are there for me.

I am really happy, though they didn't see it.

To my friends that greeted me online and to my fan girl friends, they really remember my birthday.
Thank you.


A lover before, but now a stranger
Hi. This will be the last time that I will think about you.

You are a kind, intelligent and sweet guy but also you are self-centered, short-tempered person.
A guy who says what he wants and do what he wants. You are really a bad guy, seriously.
Good boy outside but bad guy inside, maybe to the person that met you shortly. But then you said to me those things.
And I realized.

"Ah, I get it. Alam ko na kung bakit ka nagkakaganyan."

It's because something is happening to you. You can't have a child.

When you said to me that night, that your long term ex-girlfriend left you because of that reason I think..
Maybe she's not the one for you, coz if you like that person he/she will not let you go no matter what, he/she will
understand the situation.

Well.. there's science it'll help you to get a baby if you like.

He also said to me that night that some of his friends teach him how to do drug pills, and I was really shocked and
said "why?!".

"Hindi naman dahil malungkot ako or whatsoever but I wanna die"

When he said that to me it strucked me, I can't response because that was the first time a person told me that he wants to die.

And I just said "ano ka ba, ang dami dami gusto mabuhay sa mundo.. You have everything that you have; money, carrer.."

But then he didn't replied.

That was the last time that we saw each other until now.

I still want to be her girl to heal him, but what will I do he said that he only see me as a friend, and I have nothing to do with that.
If fate has a way, there will be a way.
I want to remove all his pains in his heart, I don't want him to feel that he is alone. I want him to see that I AM HERE NO MATTER WHAT. Call me stupid but I will do it..

But who am I.. I'm just a girl that you met somewhere where the trust is not that strong enough to prove.

I'm really hoping that someday we will meet again, and the red string will tie to our each others wrist that connects our heart to be back again.


A new beginning.
I got my period today, and I wanna say that within that span of time I realized and learned many things.
I realized that I am not really ready to became a parent. I want to learn new things and different adventures.

I'm not really ready..

Maybe GOD really want me to test and educate for what happened to me..

I just really want to thank GOD for being an eye opener for me, and I realized one thing that my family is
my friend and I will make our dreams come true.

For now I will focus on my carrer. No lovelife or flings. JUST ME and my FAMILY.


I'm so worried.

I think i'm pregnant 'coz my period got delayed and instead of having a heavy period I got a brown thingy
in my undies. They said on the internet that i'm having an implanation spotting which means 30% of having that
is pregnant, which still i'm not ready and so the guy is.

But I took a pregnancy test which is negative. But i'm still worried. T.T

I'm having a mild cramps and a brownish thingy and some blood when I urinate.

I hope this is just a false alarm.

Anyone does know something about this? I'm so really not focused on my work because of this.



I'm in work like now, and I kept asking myself.. what to do next what is my next step?
I'm so confused about which path am I going to take..
Will I took again the managerial position exam nor resign and go to abroad?
Which is better?

Sometimes I think i'm so all alone, because my parents are in the province and I rarely visit them.
The fact that I am lonely..
I dated some guys, most of them are hook ups.
And I realize, why am I doing this?
"I'm not this kind of person, but i'm lonely. I need someone"
I tell that to myself..

Am I really finding true love or someone to be with?
I know I should took care of myself and my family first.
Am I going to this stage of maturity?
I really don't know right now.

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